August 2020 - Bullying Speakers

Overcoming the Back-to-School Blues

by Jeff Veley | Aug 26, 2020 | Parenting Advice, Social and Emotional Learning

Tip for Preparing At-Home Learners

For many students, heading back to school this year looks very different than in the past. As a parent, it can be hard to know how to get your student excited for at-home learning. Here are a few things you can do to help them look forward to learning this year.

Buy Some School Swag

While they may not be walking the halls, picking up few new shirts and a fresh haircut can help your child feel confident.

Child taking notes laptop

Create a Flexible Work Space

Many adults use sit/stand desks and add movement during their work day. This is even more important for children. Select a workspace where your child has some room to stand up and move.

Be sure to encourage good posture. Propping up a device on a stack of books or a laptop stand can really help.

Personalize the School Area

The nice thing about at-home learning is the ability to decorate your space. Let your child pick out a spot where they are comfortable. Then, work together to decorate.

Create a Virtual Background

Platforms such as ZOOM allow you to use virtual background. If allowed by your child’s school, create a fun background on a platform, like Canva.

If you have a younger child, they may want their favorite things in the background (maybe even something they create online). Middle and high school students are more likely to display something from a video game, a quote that they’re passionate about, or art that inspires them.

Get Some Fidget Toys

It may be hard for your child to stay engaged during virtual learning. Having some fidget toys can help them release energy while still focusing on their teacher.

If your child is getting restless, try a scribble pad and crayons, a stress ball, or silly putty. For children that struggle with aggression, lavender hand lotion is a great way for them to self-soothe and calm their emotions.

Schedule & Prioritize Outdoor Time

The COVID-19 pandemic means a lot of us are staying inside and increasing time on our devices. This is unhealthy, especially for our kids. Schedule regular recess and other outdoor playtimes. Outdoor activity will help your child get the fresh air and Vitamin D from the sun. Both are great for physical and mental health.

Structure Snack & Lunch Times

Many kids try to grab extra snacks while at home. This can lead to unhealthy eating patterns. Additionally, eating the wrong foods can dramatically effect your child’s attention and moods.

Plan set times for meals and snacks. It’s helpful to let your child pick out foods on grocery trips. You may need to give them some healthy options to choose from.

Keep a Regular Bed Time

Proper and regular sleep is essential for kids and especially teenagers. Have a set wind-down routine in the evening and get ready routine in the morning. Ensuring that your child keeps this routine will increase the likelihood that they will be prepared for learning and form good habits.

Is Anti-Racist the Answer?

by Jeff Veley | Aug 13, 2020 | Articles, Bullying Prevention, Social and Emotional Learning

Why the Anti-Racist Movement May Increase Hate & Violence

The desire to stand against racism is one that’s being felt, across America and around the world. As we reflect on the tragic murder of George Floyd and many others, movements for justice and equality are gaining traction and support.

In addition to Black Lives Matter, there is a larger movement that is growing in popularity – the anti-racist movement. How you interpret this article is largely based on whether you define “racist” as an adjective or a noun. This article shall use the latter.

Is “Anti” the Problem?

After watching the anti-bullying movement for 10 years, I’m repelled by most “anti” movements. Why? It tends to paint a negative light on a people group instead of directing positive attention towards those being advocated for.

Anti-bullying programs, for example, often focus on stopping aggressors on as the sole solution for helping targets. Youth that are targeted often have little hope, other than telling the authorities and hoping things change. I’ve spent my career empowering targets of aggression (in the same way I wish someone would have helped me in that situation).

Anti-Racist Versus Pro Civility

If your mindset is to be “anti-racist”, you may look for racists to stand against. If you take a stance of fighting for civility, equality, and the equity of all people, it better positions you as a positive advocate.

While my brief description is simplified, my point is that it’s a better leadership decision to stand FOR something than AGAINST something. If positive change is to be had, the majority of our energy should be spent standing FOR people and not AGAINST people.

Becoming What You Hate

Over time, it’s easy to reciprocate the behavior that you desire to stop and, ultimately become what you hate. In the end, the anti-bullying movement was more about “hating” and “rallying against bullies” (who are usually targets of aggression, acting out aggressively – ironically) than empowering targets of aggression.

After research showed that anti-bullying programs increased hostility and aggression, the Department of Education recommended that schools abandon these practices.

A Positive Solution to Racism?

How are schools handling social aggression (commonly referred to as bullying) now? Research shows that the most promising solution includes resilience education, social and emotional learning, and conflict resolution skills. Can these lessons apply to those impacted by racist remarks?

Resilience education reduces the importance of the overall offense – therefore helping the student guard their heart and leverage adversity for psychological growth. Social and emotional learning teaches students how to manage emotions, interact with other people, and make responsible decisions, even in challenging relationships. Increasing one’s ability to resolve conflicts empowers a target of aggression with several options to defend themself. Instead of feeling overpowered or powerless, a target of aggression feels prepared to navigate challenges, engage in conversation, and resolve conflicts peacefully.

Our society should continue to speak out and take steps to eradicate systemic racism. Still, we know that systems will not change overnight. If we want to help those that are suffering, we must offer a solution that empowers them today, not years later. In conclusion, schools have abandoned the us vs. them approach to aggression and embraced a model that helps all people resolve issues civilly. Do you think the “anti-racism movement” will follow a similar path?

Jeff Veley is a popular speaker and resilience educator, specializing in social aggression and conflict resolution.

He’s the recipient of the Civility International Award and Diversity Award for his global impact in the education and mental health fields. As a result, the United Nations officially recognizes him as a Peace Ambassador.